Am I the same person that I was five years ago ? Not at all . Hell, I don’t even think I’m the same person I was on New Year’s Eve or even a month ago . To think of it ? A lot has changed , everything ranging from my personality to my perspective on all things in life. Did I change for the good ? Or worse , I think that is something that’s between me , myself and my conscience. A few years ago , I couldn’t even construct a sentence based on my feelings , or anything else to be honest , I would just leave the paper blank. But look at me now , I like writing scrappy pieces I actually love to read to myself based on my thoughts and perspective on almost everything I know a little or a lot about.
My most precious moment regarding the changes I’ve gone through was the moment I met this girl that taught me what it was like to be open minded , all she gave me was a few thoughts , but her words changed the rest of my life. I can recall the height of my indifference about everything else , my coldness , I was very anti social and I would never smile and on so many occasions my late father would get mad at me for not smiling, constantly asking if someone did something to me , and the answer was always ” No “, that was just how I felt. I wasn’t only indifferent and isolated , I was clueless about almost everything. The moment I decided to change my ways and open my mind up , I met different kinds of people you can ever imagine because the environment I was in at that time was very diverse. I’ve met people ranging from Ex cons , even a man that skipped a country because he stabbed someone quite a few times , to one of the very smart people I love a lot with so many opinions about almost everything , I’ve met addicts , atheists , people with very different beliefs and sexualities. And the most beautiful part of my on going journey is that I learnt to accept and see all these people as ” Human beings ” before anything else. To know that every person has a story they are not telling but if you looked closely , you could see it in their eyes. So many I’ve met , befriended, gotten close to and have left my life , some still here. But all in all I learnt to never keep grudges and accept a person with all my heart or not at all. I don’t regret meeting all these people, not one of them , neither do I regret having them out of my life because I truly believe every person comes into my life either as a lesson or we get to enjoy the rest of the journey that is my life , together . I feel like I’ve reached a point where only the most important things matter. Also taught myself how to refrain from the affairs of the small minded in order to keep myself clean and whenever I don’t I get into some twisted situation and I tend to disgust myself all by myself. All in all , the most important thing I’ve learnt is that the good I put out comes back to me at some point in my life if not immediately then a little late, and so does the bad. I learnt to accept who I am , what I’m made of , all that I am , learnt to love every part of me because self esteem and self respect meant everything , the flaws , I got to admire. Also learnt the only way to move forward is by forgiving and learning from my mistakes , learnt to love more and more . I got to know myself a lot , one thing I figured was that I loved making my own mistakes because it is the most effective way for me to know better for my own sake and to know to not go down a certain road again. Pain , broken hearts , betrayals and lost friendships , they are all things that helped me see what was really there , so I don’t regret ever going through all those feelings . These are moments I cherish with all my might and I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m not saying it’s all good at this point because everyday I find a flaw , sometimes I correct them but other times habits tend to be very hard to break . So I guess I’m a working progress.